Charlie

Chaplin once said:

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in the long shot."

I thought this was rather clever. In a similar spirit, I think the following is also true:

"Life is a comedy when seen in close-up, but a tragedy in the long shot."

And so it goes.

Tip #1

I know you were just dying to know what tip #1 was, right? Well, the chances are you don't even know what I'm talking about so I'm going to refer you back to the previous post (read the last line).

Tip #1 in my self-help book is this: Buy a dog.

They're freaking awesome. Not to mention, absolutely adorable. If you have a choice, definitely get yourself a miniature goldendoodle.

Say what now? Yes. A miniature goldendoodle. It's a mix between a golden retriever and a miniature poodle.

Say what now? Yes. A golden retriever and a miniature poodle. They do it by artificial insemination. The result is this totally adorably fluffy dog that will love you forever and ever.

Life, Liberty . . .

And the pursuit of happiness. Those are the words in the ever famous, oft quoted Declaration of Independence.

Now, I'm not going to hide it. I used to be one of those kids who should shake their fists at the world because dear god, why were my parents not born with mind-blowing connections? Why wasn't I born with a 8792 IQ? Why don't I find big sacks of money everywhere? Why am I not as pretty as that girl over there? Isn't there something in the Declaration of Independence that guarantees me happiness or success or something? What a load of bologna! I came to the only plausible, reasonable conclusion: America sucked, my life sucked, and it was not my fault.

In a moment of lucidity sometime later, I actually thought to look up the Declaration of independence. To my surprise, I realized that my brain had so conveniently left out a word. The Declaration did not say, "Life, liberty, and happiness" but "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Now, as a decently educated young woman, of course I knew that "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" was the correct version. But, I had to failed to realize exactly what those words entailed. Plainly stated, I was looking for luck. I wanted things to be easier/faster/better/just cooler in general.

I still do. It's a very human sort of sentiment.

But, I now have the words "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" hanging on a small Post-It on my bed frame. The word "pursuit" is underlined several times , highlighted, and surrounded by a small group of lopsided stars. It's a silly sort of note, and my friends just think I'm being a history geek, but it keeps me decently happy and upbeat.

If I ever write a self help book, I'm pretty sure this will be tip #2.

6.0

It seems that earthquakes know just how to aggravate already open wounds. As death tolls mount ever higher, Haiti was hit by an aftershock rating 6.0 on the scale this morning, and aid is perhaps more crucial than ever.

Please see Saturday's post for links to the American Red Cross and UNICEF. I am also including a link to a Huffington Post article that also suggests several ways to support relief efforts in Haiti.

WAYS TO HELP

Saturday Post

I normally don't post on Saturdays, but sometimes things happen in the world that do not necessarily feel the desire to match my update schedule.

As most people are already aware, Haiti was recently hit by one of the most devastating earthquakes in history. Hospitals and shelters are just as likely as any other building to be destroyed in an earthquake, making relief efforts ever more difficult and frustrating.

I'm encouraging everybody to donate and help out with the relief efforts. The Red Cross and UNICEF are taking donations through their Haiti Earthquake Relief Funds. Here are the links:

American Red Cross
UNICEF

Some quick steps you can take to help out with the relief efforts:

1. Tell your friends. Sometimes disasters happen so often and so far away that we write many of them off as just another one. Take notice. Make your friends and family take notice.

2. Donate. I included the Red Cross and UNICEF links on this post because most people are familiar with these organizations. There are certainly several other organizations collecting and holding programs for relief. Money tends to be the most useful in times of crises, but make sure that you know where your money is going. Although disasters strike in many people's hearts a chord of sympathy, many people see earthquakes as just another opportunity to scam you. If you are donating, make sure you are doing so to a reputable organization.

3. Start a fundraiser at your school/company. More people contributing = more aid. Simple enough.

4. If you are religious, keep the victims and their families in your prayers, and if you are not, keep them in your thoughts. A moment of positive thinking will only take 30 seconds of your time, and it certainly can't hurt anyone.

Chickpea Paste

Commonly referred to as "hummus," I had some for the first time last week. If you're anything like my friends, the following two thoughts are now running through your head:

1. What? A hummus virgin? How absurd!
2. Mmm. Hummus.

I agree. Hummus is pretty darn delicious. I did harbor some serious doubts initially but I sucked it up finally tried some. I am now shamefully and at the same time shamelessly addicted. I've been experimenting with different vegetables and am proud to say that my intake of cucumbers have skyrocketed the past few days. I'm also planning to buy a tub for my personal fridge. My anticipation is overwhelming right now.

Oh goodness, hummus.

As with most things I eat, I of course questioned, "What the heck is hummus?" Turns out, ground up chickpeas, which led me to question, "What the heck are chickpeas?" Someone at the lunch table replied, "They're kind of like round pinto beans, but with appendages," with alien appendage hand motions included.

Horrified by eating appendag-ed food, I searched chickpeas on Wikipedia to discover that they just look like round beans. Thank goodness.

I Am Such a Good Person

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 6:00 AM. Not only did I wake up at 6:00 AM, I woke up at 6:00 AM to go swimming. Not only did I go swimming, I did so because a friend wanted me to do so. I am possibly the best person in the world right now. For the time being, let's ignore the small, masochistic part of me that found the idea of forcing myself to wake up during the god forbidden hours of dawn to douse myself in cold, cold water mildly appealing. While we're at it, let's also ignore the parts of me that saw a good blog entry in the making.

The last time I was in a pool was the summer after 8th grade for summer gym. The last bathing suit I owned was from Limited Too. I hate water--minus drinking and showering. I hate the beach. I hate the rain (unless I'm inside). Get the picture?

But, I swam anyways (Did I mention that I am the greatest person ever right now?), and to my pleasant surprise, the whole ordeal went relatively smoothly and enjoyably. It also helped that I got some prescription goggles for my near-blind eyes. Prescription goggles are awesome. They help me see, and I hate not being able to see.

After swimming a whopping 12 laps, I felt pretty empowered and very, very cool. I was also very excited about spending the rest of my day bragging to people about what a good person I was. However, my armpits and abs hurt like fiery doom. So much, in fact, that I could not push down the ketchup pump during breakfast for my eggs. In fact, they hurt right now as I write this entry, so I'm just going to stop typing now and go hunt for more things to do that will make me a fabulous person.

Greetings

I am very self-conscious about how I start and end all my conversations. Consequently, I am always on the lookout for cool, interesting ways to say hello and goodbye.

I originally started with the good ol', traditional "hello." I then went through a "yo" stage quickly followed by a "hey there" stage. Now I kind of like "hey you" except it makes me feel like I'm being too intimate with people I don't feel very intimate with. Then I discovered "heyo." It's kind of hip-sounding, casual, slightly uncommon. I don't remember who I filched this from, but hey (hi? hello? hey you?), thanks.

When logging off, a simple "bye" works nicely most of the time. If I get bored, I'll switch it up with an occasional "good bye." If I'm feeling cosmopolitan, I'll try "adieu" and if I feel like acting more chill than I actually am, I'll go with a "later" or a "peace." I particularly like "peace." I usually find people who sign off with a "peace" very cool. I don't know why. One day, I'll conduct a legit study on all of this and figure it out.

Senile Moments

I wish I had more of them. Let me explain. Traditionally, a "senile moment" is when someone forgets an obvious fact or a train of thought. For example: Where are my car keys? Oh dearie me, they're in my hands!

I am now redefining senile moments as the following: when a younger person has a brief moment of insight beyond their years.

I have very few of these senile moments. Even the few that I think I have, my delusional brain probably made them up. I'll be momentarily convinced that my superbly mature brain is much too sophisticated and wise to be stuck in a seventeen-year-old body in a seventeen-year-old world. Of course, this is hardly ever true, but thank goodness teenage angst is only temporary.

I'd like to think that this post is a senile moment. It's probably not, but I suppose it's a worthy effort anyway.

Abbreviations

Abbreviations I find totally unnecessary:

Come = cum
That = tht
When = wen
What = wat
Have = hav
I = i
Today = 2day

Don't use them people. One extra keystroke isn't going to kill you. Unless you have carpal tunnel. If you do, then I forgive you.

Home Stretch

For the great majority of seniors everywhere, we are in the home stretch. The final lap in the 4693 K marathon. College acceptances are slowly trickling in along with a scholarship here and there. The standardized tests are finished and the scores, good or bad, are unchangeable. The "Submit" button has already been pressed and as the Tralfamadorians would say, "It has already happened."

The home stretch is awesome. It's time to finally take my seat on the seniorits train that I've had reserved for the past 3 years. It's a time to celebrate Friday nights with coffee and tea, remember what "reading for pleasure" means, sleep, and saunter around school as the big, bad senior.

It's also a time to screw up. Don't do it. Have fun, relax, cash in on that long-deserved luxury of not caring. Just don't overdo it.

Make It

I recently signed off one of my e-mails with "Have a good day." Right before I clicked the "Send" button, I replaced the phrase with "Make a good day."

I think days are made, not had.
The same principle applies to years.

So everyone, make a good year.