What do you wait for?

Ever get that anticipatory tight feeling in your chest?

Of course you do.


My life is a constant waitlist.
Waiting for tomorrow.
Waiting for next week.
Waiting for a new year.

What do you wait for?

I've tried to obliterate that list time after time. The problem arises from the deep rooted fact that I've learned to define and construct my entire image and life after waitlists-- an arbitrary column of boxes to check.

Checkcheckcheck.


Psychologist Daniel Kahneman says that we have two selves: memory and experiential.

We literally live in the experiential. Statistically, our experiential self lasts for three seconds at a time.
So the experiential self that literally feels your existence at this moment. . .

Is gone now.

And another one . . .

And another . . .
And another . . .

Has taken its place.


And yet another.

Our brains are only capable of living in the experiential mode, but paradoxically, we choose to spend much of that mode leafing through our memories.

The memory self that gives us coherence and continuity.


Think back the last ten years of your life.
Not every memory or event.
Just feel the last ten years of your life.

How long did that take you?

The continuity of those last ten years lumped and condensed into a one second memory.

A concentrated, raw, one-second memory.
The memory that lets you feel your self existence in the last ten years.

And here I am living, three seconds at a time.

Waitingfortomorrow.Waitingfornextweek.Waitingforanewyear.