Avocados

I really like avocados. I mean, I really, really like them. No longer satisfied with the occasional morsel in my BLT sandwiches and guacamole dip, I finally decided this year to just buy some plain, raw avocados.

They make an excellent evening snack, by the way. Given, of course, that you like avocados.

Now, always seeing avocado as delicious slices in my sandwiches or as delectable spread for my chips, I thought they would be beautiful.

They are actually kind of repulsive.

They look almost black, and once you crack them up, they have all these strange dark looking lumps embedded in the rich, green flesh. The seed is kind of cool. Pretty solid, round. It could probably make a good self defense weapon if anyone decides to attack you while you are carving up an avocado.

Now, I'm probably just a poor, inexperienced avocado peeler, but after my first attempt, I just ended up staring at my green-goo covered hands with a pitifully small amount of actual avocado left on my plate. Of course, my mother decided to come into the kitchen at this very moment and start shouting about the dimes and quarters running down my hands.

This brings me to another good point. Avocados are expensive. For your hard earned dollar, you can maybe get one avocado.

I don't really have anything else to say about avocados. I just think they're pretty delicious, and I like the raised eyebrows I get when I whip one out of my backpack.

Second Post

Despite the totally unoriginally bland nature of the title of this post, I popped some mental champagne as I wrote it.

The existence of a second post is somewhat of a landmark for a new and rising blogger. Sort of like the 72 hour mark for people trying to quit smoking.

Now, something of more substance.

I recently bought an iPhone. Now, I have spent the last two years secretly glaring at all those iPhone holders who so annoyingly insisted on Googling every possible little thing just to whip out those shiny black phones. And those apps! My god! Who really needs a little fake guitar on their phone, or a daily joke from four different sites? And no, I don't need to see 42 blurry pictures of your friends, and yes, I know that you can zoom into pictures with your fingers.

My sentiments were nicely phrased by one of my friends:

"I hate all people with iPhones, but I really, really want one."

I have now joined the ranks of douchebaggery that is the iPhone.

I'm not going to lie. It's pretty awesome.

First Post

I think this blog being born on Christmas is something of great and monumental significance. It was, in fact, the day that Christ himself was born, right? (Never mind the fact that Christmas was moved to December to replace a pagan holiday.) Regardless of the significance of the day, I believe the greater meaning lies in the creation of this blog entry. The ghosts of my several psuedo-blogs still haunt my Firefox bookmarks on a regular basis. For most of them, I spent the day thinking of a clever name, and a even cleverer tagline and a first post titled "First Post."

Let us tap our glasses for the end of all that!

Here I make a toast in remembrance of all those dead, forgotten blogs worldwide. May your unsatisfied bytes rest in peace. I will, never again, (hopefully) create another victim.

Now, for a word on this blog which I have just delivered to the world. It's pink, writhing, spewing pockets of gibberish and frankly, scaring me a lot.

The background is black, like my computer desktop wallpaper. I tell people it's because I'm environmentally conscious and the color black uses less energy. I actually just like black things because it keeps me from having to be creative and makes people think I'm chic, elegant, clean cut, etc.

The title was inspired by absolutely nothing at all. In fact, it isn't inspired, period. I wrote it down as a placeholder and just didn't change it. I'm hoping people will think it's clever, and it'll catch on.

The tagline has a slightly, but not much more interesting story. A friend said it to me once and I spent a good 10 seconds laughing at it. Then I immediately felt kind of sad that many human actions seem to simply "fill the world with more entropy." Then I got sidetracked with a bowl of macaroni in the microwave, and that was that.

Now, I know that when I see a mass of text on the computer screen, I am prone to not read it and keep clicking the "Stumble" button until I get a site with lots of colorful pictures. So I'm adding a picture to keep people like me interested.

This is my dog. She's beautiful. This is a known, indisputable fact.

Happy holidays everyone.